Well....my life sucks balls right now. Im stuck in a shit-hole town with friends doin everything they can to not be a law abiding citizen. Trying to turn your leaf over is near to impossible here. I thought that this would be a "strategic move backwards" and its turning out to be me stumbling and falling backwards. I was managing my fathers bills and this building but in light of the most recent blow up he has had, i handed it all back to him per his requests. I tell him that the bills are looking bad and he goes into one of his episodes again. Flippin shit anytime anyone says anything to him about bills and he jumps to sell shit so he can fix it all in the snap of a finger (which cannot be done). I told him he's only treating the symptom and not the cause. When the cause is brought up he gets even more pissed off because in the end its his fault and he doesn't like to be wrong or made to see that he put himself into this position from poor decision making skills.
I came here trying to help and i get yelled at in return. I do all their damn dishes and clean up after them. I am doing all the work nextdoor for free so dad can go and do work that pays. I give them advice on where they dont need to spend and what they could do to aleviate some of their problem and i get attitude. Nothing i do is helping. I only took the bills so dad could concentrate on his health but then he doesn't do anything but lay in bed all day or go out and work for a few hours. I try to help with finances, managing, the kids, even his relationship with Nan and it all gets trown right back in my face. Well enough is enough!
I've handed back all their paperwork. I handed back the keys. I will live in my tiny little room at the end of the maize that is my fathers house. I wont come out of this room unless i need to use the restroom, eat, or leave the building. I'll let them go back to how it was before i got here. Just be the bummy guy that lives there and doesn't talk to anyone.
On my side of the line, im going back to college. I'll go register tomorrow for my electives and then in fall start the Criminal Justice program. Im going to try and be a cop. Ill have to work a crappy job while im at it but without having my own space ill just save my money for when i go back to Des Moines. Ill get to visit my kung fu family from time to time, but not as often as i would like. Regardless, i cannot be a police officer here so i'll be headin back up to des moines for the job search. Hopefully i'll be able to be a police officer and go to my kung fu classes too. Then i'll just have to be content with my kung fu family being enough to keep me from feeling like im alone up there. Which wasn't really enough before but hey.....maybe that can change. In learnin how to socialize without passing a pipe around maybe i can develope the skillz to communicate with everyone and have more fun while doing it. I would like to say that Moving back to ottumwa was the biggest mistake i've made but i dont think it is. There is still some good to come from this, no matter how far away that good may be. Nope, screwin me and Betty up still ranks as #1
. I dread and lookforward to a day when i can no longer say that.